Today will be short and salty.  So hold onto your socks, Sugarpants.

Regularly friends, colleagues, coaches and even clients will point me in the direction of a new website of some promising to help people “find their soulmate” and they always ask, “do you think they are your competition?”

My answer is always the same.  Nope. Nada.  Not even a tiny bit.

Anyone who is searching for “the one”  or their “soulmate” probably isn’t chillin’ like a villain on my blog.  My kick-ass people like hard-core  truths, really smart conversations about how to create healthy relationships, mediocre 80s references and unicorns.

They are the Buttercup to my Beloved Wesley.  The Chunk to my Sloth.  The Joanie to my Chachi…..

However, I DO have some stiff competition out there that sabotages my clients on a daily basis without even knowing it and and makes my job so much harder.  I mean wicked hard.  (That is for you my Boston friends)

Who are these unknowing saboteurs?  Your well meaning friends and family.

True fucking story.

Trust me, I am not trying to suck and make the amazing people in your life who truly love you feel bad.  I can promise you their intentions are good and they want the best for you.  I do not doubt that at all.

It’s just there are a lot of these amazing people giving truly crap love advice.  And the worst part is you are listening to it.

So what exactly does this look like?

They are projecting their scarcity fears on you and encouraging you to stay in crap relationships.  There is nothing to do with love in that.

They nitpick apart your newest dates because they are scared of losing you as their “single friend”.

They are sharing their “horror stories” to make you nervous and glom onto anybody who looks mildly ok…at all.  Jumping in too quickly.  Helping you make up stories in your head that aren’t remotely true.

Then they are there pouring the wine when you are devastated when it doesn’t work out, telling you that “you were too good for them.  They don’t deserve you.”  Never really giving you honest feedback for you to learn from and move forward.  Because let’s be honest….it is not always them.

They are reminding you that you are not getting younger, prettier and that others 10 years younger than you will be moving in to compete with you any minute!!

Yikes!  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Listen, I realize that this is not all friends and family, but just because people are in or have been in a relationship does not mean that they can give you solid advice.  Or that it is even applicable to your situation.  Because they are bringing their own experiences and fears with them.  It is not there fault.  They want to help and that is the way that they know how.

However, my guess is that a lot of you are pretty great at reading labels, product reviews and testimonials.  You want to know what is going in your mouth or what you are paying for.

So why would you just take love, dating and relationship advice without checking out the source and making sure it is sound?  

Your three-times divorced Aunt Edna might be a pass, or your hot mess friend who has a new boyfriend every month and is always in love with love might not be your best bet.

We are looking more for your friend whose relationship works really well and can share the goods and the reals with you.  Or your grandparents who have had to work through the tough stuff to find a partner.

Want to know your best bet?  Listen to your gut…..or me.  One of the two.

So what shit advice have you gotten?  Share on our facebook!

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