We can’t keep living like this.

School shootings.  Overdoses.  Politics.  Suicides…


I don’t have enough background or knowledge to give you detail after detail on each situation that is happening, however,  I can tell you, that there is something swimming around in our society that is creating this behavior and we are the only ones who can stop it.

And it all starts with love.

Although we all say we are out there trying to find it, most songs are sung about it, movie and TV plots created around it, even the ridiculous amount of quotes on facebook every day talking about it (yes, I know I do it), we really aren’t that fucking good at giving and receiving it on a daily basis.  And we straight up fully suck ass at sharing it with people who we don’t know.

Here is the truth.  We don’t really like ourselves that much anymore.  

Someone, somewhere started setting up some ridiculous standards a while ago about how we should look, act, learn, live, parent, etc and when we don’t fit that mold, there is something wrong with us.  So somewhere deep down we believe that if we don’t keep striving for those things, we won’t be loved.  By a significant other, our parents, our children or anyone.

So we create these fucked up things/places/groups that supposedly keep us safe, distract or even numb while we are working daily for all of these perfect ideals that don’t actually exist or make anyone happy.  They are comfort zones. Those comfort zones can look many ways but include: unhealthy relationships and friendships, toxic groups and beliefs, unhappy jobs, drinking and drugs, unhealthy relationships with food, etc.

We are all trying so hard not to feel the real feelings of life which can hurt.  However, those real feelings can also feel amazing.  Yin and yang, baby.

Because of that unhappiness and our fucked-up view of what we are supposed to be, we constantly judge others not like us or those ideals.  Tearing people down online and off.  Finding a little bit of some smug joy that “we have it more figured out than they do.”

HA!  Look how superior we are!  We are definitely going to some level of Special Heaven where prettier, skinnier people with nicer things go!

But we are getting this wrong.

Until we start liking ourselves enough to love and be loved we are spreading judgement and sometimes even hate in our society.

You may think that just by “doing your thing” everyday, that you are not hurting anyone.  OK, I am not going to say whether that is true or not…hello!  This is an article on judging!  But it is the complacency that is killing us.  The “I am not happy but it is easier to stay in my bubble, not rock the boat and just hope that things change” bullshit that is ALLOWING the world to keep on spinning into this sadness.

Someone fucking tell me now so I can just start upping my day drinking.  Are we going to ignore the hunger and poverty, right here in our own country?  Are we not going to acknowledge the abuse and neglect that happens to children and animals probably within 2 miles of your house?  The addictions and mental illness?  All of it?

Something’s fucking gotta give.

I am simply a life coach.  One who works with singles.  I am not going to pretend to know how to solve the world’s problems such as the environment, world economics, hunger, poverty, abuse and addiction.  However, I believe in a very simple idea that I do think changes the world.  Love.

Starting with liking yourself enough to have enough to be able to give to others.  To connect.  To create a place where we aren’t scared of each other but instead supporting each other to grow, learn and love.

I would be a pretty shitty life coach if I didn’t share some even small ideas on how to change this.  And I am not going to tell you to fucking meditate or do yoga.  Those are great things that I do believe in, but let’s get back to some basics here.

Here is where we can start to change the world.

1.  Do (at least) three things a day that are things you absolutely love and are passionate about.

That can look however you want it to, but it can not be some 30-second bullshit.  It should be real things.

If you are already saying that you don’t have time, get a grip!  How about starting with the 10 things you are doing that you hate to do?  If you are now going to whine about your significant other and kids remember this simple thought:  You have to put yourself at least tied for first priority in your life.

Plus,  how great of a parent/significant other are you being when you are exhausted and unhappy all the time? Nobody actually cares about all the stuff you are worried about and who cares?  That is their shit, not yours.

2.  Do (at least) 3 things a day for strangers.

Do not start over-thinking this.  I know you do that oh-so-well:)

Start with making eye contact, say hello and smiling. Go out of your way to give a compliment. Buy someone a coffee.  If you want, let it grow when you stop doing the 10 things you hate to do mentioned in the above paragraph.

If you do this just 3 times a day regularly, I promise that it will become the best addiction you have ever had and you are changing your life.  Bonus: you are changing other’s lives too.

Screw Random Acts of Kindness we need Regular Acts of Kindness!

3.  Stop fucking multi-tasking.

You are not actually getting that much shit done and usually it is half-assed.  There is research that people who remain present in their tasks and life are happier and feel more satisfaction.

Another simple way to change lives?  Give your full attention to the people you are with and talking to.  Now go get your Staples button and say “that was easy.”

4.  Be Kind Online

Here is a rule that I am making up right here, right now and hope the world follows it from this point on.

If you are not willing to sit across from a person, look them in the eye and say something, you can’t blog it, tweet it or leave it as a comment. Period. 

The anonymity of online has allowed hatred to grow and be spewed in horrible, toxic ways.  We need to stop that shit…yesterday.

I don’t care if you don’t like an opinion, article or blog post, there are nice ways to share your opinion or give constructive criticism.  You haven’t lived their life or had their experiences.  Stop pretending like you know more than they do.  And if you do know more? Write your own fucking blog!  You should then be a superstar!!!  Congratu-fucking-lations!

Listen, I do not have it all figured out and take the blame for our world on my shoulders just as much as the next person.  But I am sitting here, writing this on a Sunday night and ready to commit to these things.  Because I just turned 40 and I am going to stop fucking around.

I am here to change the world with love.

and clearly swearing:)

Who’s fucking with me?

Want the easiest way to change the world?  Join the League!  An FREE group program that changes the world by changing ourselves.  Let me be the Miyagi to your Ralph Macchio.  

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