IT’S OK TO BE NERVOUS

My six-week road trip is almost over and after all of the hours and hours of planning, I realized I was pretty much right about only one thing…this trip pushed me out of my comfort zone hard and I learned a whole crapload about myself.

It has really been amazing.  I have explored new places, tried new things and met a ton of new people.  Although I kept my handy dandy smile on my face for a lot of it, I was really surprised how many times that I was really nervous.  That I quickly spiraled out of the place known as “The Land of Sanity” and wound up in “Crazy Town”.  Maybe you have been there….it is otherwise known as the little place in the back of my mind where all of my insecurities like to lie dormant.  Waiting to pop up as soon as I give them a chance.  Like those annoying moles in the Whack-A-Mole arcade game.

Here are some moles that popped up for me:

Is that Ivanka Trump?  Crap, I don’t have as much money as the rest of these people, they are so going to see that I am a fraud and don’t belong here.  Are there lynch mobs for somewhat successful entrepreneurs, who drive Dodges named Steve and are from the Dairy Land?

Wait!  When did I start looking like this?  Are you effin’ kidding me with those eye bags right now?  Where did those wrinkles come from?  I am literally aging by the minute.

Am I talking too much?  Shit, did I just say that?  Does this guy realize how attracted I am to him?  Am I making a total ass of myself?  Kira, shut up.  Seriously.

Do these younger people realize how old I am?  I hope I don’t sound like their Mom.  God, I sound so dorky right now…..

Where am I?  Is this GPS right?  Am I going to get lost?  What if they find me dead, along the side of the road and I am not even wearing good underwear????

All of those moments happened.  Usually more than once.  Due to the fact that I am consistently seven layers of ridiculous, there were so, so many more. But I am trying to keep this short today.

So, when those “slightly hyperventilating on the inside” moments showed up and the previous runner in me wanted to leave the situation, I realized one simple thing.

It is ok to be nervous.

I was out of my comfort zone, but ultimately I was still safe.  That being uncomfortable is just part of trying new things.  That it is ok if things don’t work out just like I was expecting. In fact, that is where the best surprises in life show up.  Overall, it is just not possible to connect with everyone, all of the time. That in weird, completely unrealistic worrying I was only sabotaging all of my awesomeness that makes me, me.

In fact, the only real danger in the situation was the insecurities that I had allowed to show up and only made me more nervous (and probably a little weirder.)

So one by one, I took a deep breath, grabbed that Whack-A-Mole mallet like I meant it and slammed them all back down.  Hard.

When real love shows up in your life, at some point it is going to make you nervous.  Things that are really, really good usually do.  With the chance of greatness comes the fear of rejection and loss.  You are probably going to hyperventilate on the inside.  You are going to question how you look, what you say and everything in between.  But it is ok to be nervous as long as you come back to all that makes you amazing in the end.

Love is worth it.

What are you feeling nervous about?

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